At the moment I’m feeling both mentally and physically exhausted. In some ways I feel prepared, knowing what to expect and having given birth before. But in other ways, I feel so ill prepared. My hospital bag is still unpacked, but rather the cot is filled with newborn nappies, onesies folded in tiny piles, and other bits and bobs that I’ve randomly remembered that I’d need to take to the hospital.
The thing about second pregnancies that no one seems to talk about is how little time you have to obsess or prepare for that newborn stage again. Just the other night, Johnny and I sat and giggled as we converted Eva’s old car seat for a newborn — are they really that tiny?
And while this baby boy continues to grow, he likes to keep us guessing about his position. As of Tuesday, at our 36 week appointment, he was head down, but definitely not engaged. This is considered to be normal for a second pregnancy, I can’t help but to feel a little anxious.
And from the conversations that we had with my doctor, it doesn’t seem like he is in a rush to come out and see the world. As much as I had hoped there would be a good couple of weeks gap between Eva’s and the baby’s birthdays, there is the possibility that they will be a lot closer. So, while I’m busy trying to get things organised for Eva’s 3rd birthday, I can only hope that I’ll be home from the hospital!
I guess I just need to accept that he will come when he is ready and to embrace these last couple of weeks as a family of three.