40 weeks + 2 Days
Waiting, waiting, waiting.
With each little twinge, I wonder is this it? And then my stomach fills up with butterflies. I’m nervous. I’m excited. I’m ready. I’m ready?
I keep remembering back to Eva’s birth — the pain, the relief, the instant bond, the love — and I can’t wait. Finally I feel ready for this change and ready to hold my baby boy in my arms.
“A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2013.”
This morning a beautiful little package arrived from Eva’s Great-Aunt, she immediately fell in loves her ‘raff dress and matching accessories. As soon as she put it on, she ran around the house saying, “I’m so pretty!”. We had to practically pry it off her at bedtime.
Along with some adorable homemade bibs for the baby boy, this delivery was a welcome distraction to the fact that I’m still pregnant and my due date is tomorrow!
Buddha’s birthday is a great cultural event celebrated throughout the world, which I explained to Eva as: “There’s the guy. His name is Buddha, it’s his birthday and red is his favourite colour.”
This is actually an improvement compared to my explanation of Easter.
Despite my weak as anything cultural explanation, it was great day. There were firecrackers, lion dances, bodhisattvas and monks. Eva was not impressed by the firecrackers (“Too loud!”) but was fascinated by the lion dancing and animal chalkboards. Cultural education completed.
Dear Baby Boy,
We’re all excited to final meet you. As each day passes, the anticipation grows. Your big sister, Eva, is eagerly awaiting your arrival. She talks to you daily. She tells you stories, gives you tours of the house, and constantly shushes everyone, telling them that “the baby is sleeping.”
And although we still haven’t settled on a name, the hospital bag is packed and we are ready. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms. I can’t wait to bring you home and into our lives.
In many ways this pregnancy is much like the one I had with Eva — relatively easy apart from the occasional periods of exhaustion. But the thing no one seems to tell you about your second pregnancy, is that you don’t have the same amount of time to obsess.
Apart from occasionally checking the weekly updates on my Baby Center app, I didn’t pick up one single pregnancy/birthing related book. This wasn’t because I felt like I already “know it all”, but rather I just didn’t have the time.
I only just finished packing my hospital bag a couple of days ago. With Eva, it was packed up and ready to go at 35 weeks. I’ve slowly taken my time buying new maternity singlets, bras and pyjamas along with tiny baby onesies, newborn nappies and other unmentionables.
Second time around, I’m terrified of giving birth again. I had hoped by now I would be at peace with the prospect of going into labour, but I can’t help but feel anxious. The problem is I now know the pain. Drug free — I still remember it. And I guess watching episodes of One Born Every Minute isn’t helping to alleviate my fears.
Since my due date is still 8 days away, I going to try to take whatever time left to try to relax. I’m off to my prenatal yoga class in the morning, maybe I’ll find a little confidence that I have the ability to do it again. Otherwise, I can only hope for a quick and uncomplicated birth and try to stay focused on meeting my baby boy.
All images & content are © 2010-2013 Happiness is Eva. Please do not take personal images without written permission.
Apartment Therapy -- Best Kids Parties: Pretty in Pink
Apartment Therapy -- Eva's Playroom
Little Sooti -- Pretty in Pink Party
Spearmint Baby -- Pretty in Pink 1st Birthday Party
Dear Baby Magazine -- Letters to Eva (pp 68-71)