I guess I could have called this post “bits and pieces” or “random photos”, but really these odds and ends have been a source of recent happiness. They make me smile.
Eva’s First Ballet Shoes
Preparing for the Baby Boy
There are many changes that seem to be all happening so quickly. And while I’m excited and welcome the life of our second born child, I can’t help but to feel a little anxious about the effect that this will have on Eva. I worry that I won’t have the same amount of time to devote to her. I worry about if and how it might change our relationship.
I know your heart grows when your second child is born — I’ve read it many times — but it’s hard for me to imagine how it is capable of doubling. So until that moment comes, I’m embracing these small moments with my daughter.
Eva had her first trial ballet class on Wednesday and as long as I’ve been waiting to enrol her, my pregnancy brain completely drew a blank. Rather than being the over prepared and organised parent, like I usually am, I was running around the mall the afternoon before trying to find a size three pale pink leotard. I had no luck.
So, on her first lesson, Eva wore her Tutu du Monde dress and a pair of ballet slippers from her dress-up box! It wasn’t an issue since it was just a trial class, but I kind of feel like the shitty parent who sends their kid off to school without any books. I know I’m being hard on myself, but this pregnancy is throwing my mind for a loop.
Despite the heat in the un-air conditioned church hall, Eva had a blast. The arrival of her friend Ruby sent Eva jumping and skipping around the room. This didn’t stop. For the first 5 minutes of the lesson, while all the other kids were sitting in a circle, carefully listening to the teacher’s instructions, Eva continued to do circles. All the while yelling “I’m a puppy! Woof Woof … Now, I’m a cat. Meow, meow.” Finally the heat got to her and she sat down on the staircase and watched on.
After a little convincing I was able to get Eva to join the class. But her enthusiasm and excitement often got the best of her. She would wait patiently to cross the floor on her tippy toes (practicing dutifully in line) only to the bolt across when it was her turn, or she was the one to run in circles when it was time to sit in one.
But all in all, Eva loved her first dance class and I think the structure is going to be good for her.
I just wish that there was some AC in the building!
Grandma and Papa.
Johnny’s parents left Monday morning, and Eva is still having a bit of time adjusting. She keeps expecting them to be at the house when we get home and we have to tell her that Grandma and Papa went home on the airplane. “Oh,” she says. Eva loves her grandparents.
What Eva said:
“I’m a Queen, not a princess.”
Eva: “I’m scared.
Me: What are you scared of?
Eva: “There is a monster outside.”
Me: “Oh no. What does it look like?”
Eva: “It’s orange and big.”
“Buzz! Come save me! It’s Woody! I’m stuck!”
Johnny: “Would you like me to close the window?”
Eva: “Yes, it’s a bit too windy.”
“I’m the big sister.”
(The first time to freely and excitedly admit that soon she will have a little brother!)
24 Weeks (this picture was taken a week ago)
This pregnancy is flying by. And while I intended (intend to?) track and record my process with regular updates, instead they have become more sporadic.
Since my last update I have finally started prenatal yoga. And despite almost passing out — literally when I stood up too quickly — I’ve been enjoying these classes. It’s the one time in my busy week that I take the time out to really focus on my pregnancy and preparing my body to give birth. As much as it’s easier for me to be in denial about giving birth, the issue I have is that I’ve experienced giving birth naturally — I know the pain. There is no denying the pain.
Some women view natural birth as a beautiful experience, one that they embrace. But at this point, I fear it. Knowing what I know, I fear the pain. However, being as stubborn as I am, I am determined again to have a drug-free labour — one that I believe is best for my body and my baby.
Despite my fear of labour, I can’t wait to hold my baby in my arms. I often daydream — I wonder if he will look like his sister, I wonder about his characteristics and temperament and I wonder about how our lives will change. completely. again.
Slowly I’ve been collecting little baby boy clothes, imagining that soon there will be a little body to fill them.
And very slowly Eva is warming to the idea that there will be a new baby in this house. Tonight I couldn’t help but smile as Eva explained that she is a big sister and that she has a baby brother. She then gave my tummy first hugs, then kisses, and finally big splurting raspberries (which she called farts).
Poor little guy; his big sister is already teasing him. But at least she is thinking about him.
Apartment Therapy -- Best Kids Parties: Pretty in Pink
Apartment Therapy -- Eva's Playroom
Little Sooti -- Pretty in Pink Party
Spearmint Baby -- Pretty in Pink 1st Birthday Party
Dear Baby Magazine -- Letters to Eva (pp 68-71)